What Would You Say

Have you ever had a friendship that slowly dissolved?

I've been feeling this way about The Pear for a while now, and it feels like the road trip in October sped up the process. I've been feeling like I don't have much in common with her anymore. Once she got involved with Dilbert, it made it even more difficult to connect with her--he came along to all outings, and usually sat idly by reading the paper while The Pear and I caught up.

The Pear emailed me to say that she and Melissa were meeting for brunch, and wanted to extend the invitation to me although she'd understand if I didn't want to make the trip because of gas prices. I foolishly replied that we'd try to make it. Melissa kindly offered to give us a ride, and I completely forgot to call her back [we'd been running errands all morning]. She texted me that evening asking if we wanted a ride, and I texted back with an apology for not calling back and saying we'd take public transportation and see her there. Here's the fucked-up part: I had NO INTENTION at that point of making the trip. Why was I too chickenshit to say that something came up and we'd no longer be able to make it? Would it really look any better if I texted [not even CALLED] before noon to say "Sorry, can't make it after all"?

Some friends I feel like I can meet up with them months later and pick up where we left off, and make new memories. With The Pear, I feel like we rehash college [no pun intended], and then we focus on Dilbert's new goatee. Then...crickets in the background. The bad part about all this is the timing--I haven't seen The Pear since that road trip in October, and I gave a lukewarm response to her engagement announcement in late January. I sent a card, and congratulated her many times via email, but I just don't have the energy to even respond to her random "How are you?" emails!