Hate

I've made it through the first three months of my new job. I like it a lot; it's certainly much better and more rewarding than my former job. However, one of my bosses is not only a micromanager but very demanding. She's nice, but yesterday the following lyric was stuck in my head:

Hate is a strong word, but I really really really don't like you

The song is about a broken heart, but I really like that one line. Anyway, the reason she was driving me nuts is this: Monday morning, she sends an email to me and my other boss saying she wants to meet to find out what is on my plate for my other boss, because she has THREE mailings she wants to get out before the holiday break. Um, the holiday break started today, Wednesday, which meant she wanted these things done in two days! Additionally, their boss told me that I could leave around 3 or 4 on Tuesday to start my break early. So Tuesday went like this:

Arrive at work at 8:30 because woke up late and therefore took the late train
Approached by bosses asking if I have lunch plans because they think it would be great if we went to lunch together [I did, but I didn't bring lunch so I figured hey, I can hit the post office and the credit union when I leave at 3, right?]
Meeting from 10-11
Left for lunch at 11:45
After lunch, one of them decided they wanted me to see this cool shoe store, so we wandered in for 15 minutes [mainly clogs...]
Back to work at 1:20
Got big check that needed to be processed today since we're closed till Jan. 2
Left work at 4:15PM

So much for starting my break early. I was shipping a b-day gift, and that's why I had to go to the post office. I figured, hey, students are gone by now, right? Oh, wait, the faculty! How could I forget they're still around? The line was hella long. When it was almost my turn, one window closed, so that prolonged my errand...time of departure: 5:15. Sigh.

But I can't complain. I'm off till January 2, and that gives me 3 days extra to squeeze in my Xmas shopping because I always wait till the last minute.

Merci beaucoup to all of you for reading this crazy blog. Joyeux Noel and Bonne Annee!

So Cruel

Thanksgiving weekend was a whirlwind. Thursday, AC and I had breakfast at a new place before I took him to the airport. Then, I went to my dad's. We sat around watching TV until we headed to my cousin's for a brief visit. Just as they were about to eat, we left for another dinner. It was really awkward.

Friday, I was in the City by 8:30AM. Mom and I headed downtown to catch the Adidas sale, which ended at 9:30AM. Afterwards, we hit Nordstrom and Macy*s. [Note to white women: "bling bling" is SO outdated. You should be punched every time you utter those words. It's like nails on a chalkboard.]

After dropping my mom off around 1:30, I headed home, packed, got an oil change, and headed south at 3:07PM. AC had kindy gotten me a ticket to the ND-USC game via craigslist! A solo road trip is very interesting, mainly because you have to amuse yourself. I sang along to whatever I wanted to; saw cows that were colored like cop cars at 5:02PM; and found a radio station that called itself "one-oh-sexy-point-three." I tried to drive non-stop but had to heed nature's call at the foot of the Grapevine at 7:45PM, crossing the LA County line at 8:07PM. I stopped for gas a few minutes later and was shocked to find myself in 36 degree weather! I hopped back on the road, eager to finish the last stretch. Alas, I dropped my damn phone while I was listening to iTunes, so I had to pull over in Castaic. I finally made it to Pico Rivera [where AC's sister lives] at 9:23PM.

The next morning, we were up by 6AM and at USC by 8:30. We parked and headed to ESPN Gameday's booth.
We found Krypto and hung out with him and his friends till our other friends showed up. [Got that?] It was very awkward, because Krypto's friends were very cold towards us. AC had met them before, and they didn't even say hi. He tried to say hi and they acted like they didn't see him. He'd warned me that they had made some comment loudly to Krypto about AC and the other friends eating their food. At the beginning of the season, they even had a talk with Krypto and told him they found some of his behaviour unacceptable last season! Why he continues to hang out with them is beyond us.

Anyway, I was really surprised by the tailgate areas at SC: basically, any open area that has a hint of grass is open! People tailgated in front of Engineering buildings as well as on a grassy strip of sidewalk near the Museum of Natural History's parking lot! The upside to this is that you can usually use the building's bathroom. This is the building whose facilities we visited:

Nice, eh?

Our other friends arrived, so we unloaded our car to tailgate with them, even though we had to cut through campus and cross the street. They had set up camp directly across the sidewalk from Notre Dame fans, so I was happy.



We'd heard that there was a Notre Dame tent set up with merchandise for sale, and luckily, the people who'd told us about it found us and led us to Irishfest. For $5, you gained a rally towel and access to an area primarily for ND fans, with a big tent o' merchandise, and beer & In-N-Out booths! Even the portapotties were blue:


Once we'd done some damage at the merch tent, we went back to our friends, who proudly showed me their purchase from the SC store. It was a red t-shirt with the Irish mascot, except his fists were the stupid two-fingered Victory sign and text that read, "If you can't beat us, join us!"

AC grilled some meat, which attracted the usual admiration and "that smells good!" [and, according to him, some little blonde SC fanwhore smiling and saying "Mmm, yummy!"]. Note how he's tenderly holding the 'tilla package:
I made myself a rum & coke, but should have eaten something first. The buzz hit me as soon as I stood up. That's when I noticed the ND cheerleaders and mascot had arrived, so I followed them back to Irishfest for the rally. I also got my face painted for a charitable donation to Hannah & Friends.



There were tons of creative signs and shirts, many referencing SC's felon alumnus [OJ Simpson]. One t-shirt read, "Catholics have no need for Trojans." And far too many heavy girls wore tight t-shirts that read "Got Booty?" [The SC quarterback is John David Booty.]

Finally, at 4:40PM, we got ready to enter the Coliseum. AC made sure that I sat with our friends so that I wouldn't be harassed too badly.

I quickly learned that SC fans are WORSE than my fellow Raider fans. That made it even harder for me to contain myself.

As we entered our row, people started booing me, and one guy actually pushed me [though not too hard]. Someone yelled, "Rudy was a Hollywood myth! He never existed!" Luckily, shortly after we sat down, attention was focused on a drunk girl who puked in the row in front of us. She was led out by her friend, but the people entering the same row were unaware they were stepping in puke...

There were a few other ND fans around us, and knowing that my mouth can get me in trouble, I lay low. Unfortunately, there was one guy who didn't know when to shut up. For starters, he was wearing a Celtics Larry Bird jersey. He was scrawny and wore glasses. I don't know what he was yelling, but the SC fans behind me kept saying "Shut up Larry Bird!" For whatever reason, he lifted the jersey to reveal a New England Patriots t-shirt, to which people started yelling, "Oh, a big sports fan! What a doofus! Siddown, four eyes!" And then he was called faggot several times, which really pissed me off, but I didn't say anything. I focused on being friendly to the fat, old, SC wetty fans next to me. They were telling me to "convert now!" to save my soul before kick-off. I'll spare you the gory details of the game, but the older white guy in front of me tried to high-5 me when SC scored and I flipped him off. Later, he said something else about Jesus [I am thinking it was in reference to Touchdown Jesus], to which I angrily said, "There is no Jesus." By halftime, things weren't looking good, and my friend asked why I made the bet with AC [details at the end of post]. I said, "To prove my faith in the Irish!" He said, "For faith I go to church!" To which I retorted, "There's no god!" Man, it's a miracle that lightning didn't strike me down at that game.

I took a photo of this little Domer at the concession stand during halftime:

I yelled profane word after profane word at the top of my lungs as the Irish let me down. By the end of the game, when the score was 44-24, the white guy in front of me again said something else. I was seething at this point, so as my friend leaned down to hug me in sympathy, I glared at the guy and said, "Fuck you, whitey." My friend hugged me tighter and whispered, "Be nice, now, be nice!"

After the game, I clung to my friend's wife so that I wouldn't get lost in the crowd [and torn apart by SC fans]. We returned to their car, where her husband thought it would be funny to hold the aforementioned "If you can't beat us..." shirt in front of me for a picture. I grabbed the shirt, and as he and AC tried to hold it in front of me, I clawed at them, scratched the back of AC's neck, and bit my friend [even breaking skin!]. There was NO WAY I'd get that thing near me.

That night, AC passed out, and I rubbed my ND facepaint onto his cheeks:











Needless to say, the drive home was a long one, especially when AC proudly pointed me out at Starbucks to another SC fan--he and two other guys looked at me while he said "Yep, she's a little disappointed today." As one of them walked past our car, smiling, I flipped off him and his saggy-boobed wife.

So the bet was this: if SC won, I'd eat meat whenever we go out for the next year. If ND won, then AC would eat no meat whenever we went out for the next year. I took the bet in stride, and ordered chicken at our Burger King pit stop.
I think AC feels bad, because he's been modifying the bet by saying that it's only when we have planned dinner outings, like dates, not on occasions where we are so hungry after work that we eat out instead of at home. But I'm not taking any chances. Crazy, maybe, but a die-hard Irish fan I am.

My Hero

Well, now I have two heroes: Oregon State and UCLA. Both teams beat USC this season, and the latter knocked USC out of the BCS Championship title game! I am so thrilled. FUSC!!!

Of course, that's even more so because of last week's pounding of Notre Dame. A post on that is to come, as I witnessed it starting with a tailgate at 9AM. I asked an SC fan if he'd rather lose to Notre Dame or UCLA, and he said, "Well, despite the fact that you can't really compare the two, I'd rather lose to Notre Dame."

Meanwhile, Stanford put up a good fight in The Big Game today. I was hoping they'd go all the way, but they fought hard. Here are some photos from the campus in preparation for the big game:
This is the fountain that's across from the Visitors Center.

This is across from the Bookstore. Note the bear impaled at the top. There was also red paint made to look as if the bear's blood was running down the sculpture.


















Meyer Library:




















This is the Arrillaga Alumni Center:




















And finally, I took this shot as I waited for the shuttle Friday evening. It's of Hoover Tower, lit with a red light.
I passed a football player on campus during lunch one day, and he was wearing a large button that said "I Believe. Big Game 2006." Maybe next year, kid. It was also interesting to hear people asking, "Why is the fountain pink?" I forget that not everyone follows football, much less big rivalries.

SIN WAGON

Last Friday, I accompanied Lolita and her rockin' mom to the Dixie Chicks concert. We took BART, which is always interesting--especially after monotonous rides on Caltrain. The first thing I noticed was the demographic attending the concert: lots of people over 60! and a good sprinkling of the LGBT community--holla!

When the lights finally went down and "Hail to the Chief" began to play, the three of us stood up, and stayed standing through the first song. An elderly man who'd left to get food came back to his seat, which was in front of us, and growled something at us about standing up! Lolita and I looked at each other in confusion--isn't this a concert? And aren't we behind him? To top it off, at the end of the song, the people behind Lolita [also elders] tapped her on the shoulder [as she was about to sit down] and asked her to sit down because she was blocking their view! I tried not to let it get to me, but I hate going to concerts where people won't let you enjoy freedom of expression when that expression is in the form of rocking out and dancing!

The show itself was more mellow than the last time I saw them, but I think they were still good. I still love Natalie--she's so spunky! They performed some oldies but goodies, and I was thrilled when they played "Cowboy Take Me Away" and "Sin Wagon." Towards the end, Lolita's mom was really enjoying herself and yelling "Whooo!" The guy in front of her looked at her funny, so she just "Whooo"-ed louder. Right on!!!

As we walked back to BART, I smiled at the sight of two gay men walking with their arms around each other. They had matching hats, black shirts, and black jeans with red fringe. Little did I know that the real party would be on BART! As we waited for our train, Lolita and I noticed a cute Clark Kent-lookalike. He was tall, thin and dark-haired, with dark-rimmed glasses and a button down shirt over a t-shirt and jeans. Very cute! Once we were on our train and noticed that he was on it too, four rather portly girls who were well-marinated got on. They decided that singing was the best way for them to ride home...so what at first sounded like little kids singing turned into full-blown drunken singing...a little "Sounds of Silence," a little U2, and others which we couldn't decipher. There was a European man who looked like he was going home from the airport sitting across from us, and my first thought was, "Oh no! He's probably thinking 'typical obnoxious americans!'" One man who was sitting about three rows up from them switched seats further up in the car, mumbling "I'm trying to sleep, man." They finally exited the train singing "Goodbye Earl." How appropriate...

Nice Guys Finish Last

This past Saturday, I attended Stanford's slaughter by SC. Granted, this shouldn't even count because Stanford hasn't won a game all year, and SC has barely won its games this year.

We tailgated with friends [no worries, I brought a Boca patty for myself with decent sides]. But I should have brought more alcohol.

There was an RV behind us that had a flat-screen outside and two more TVs inside. They had a sweet set-up, so Meathead quickly made friends to get some alcohol and watch TV.

There were a couple of decent-looking girls for our friend, Krypto, but he is waaaay too fearful of the 'gina. Meathead even got the perfect excuse for him to talk to one of the girls: she wanted some corn on the cob! AC sprang into action and threw another one on the grill so that Krypto could take it to her, with the little corn holders, too. Alas, he chickened out, and instead, Meathead took it over to her. Then the fugly girls started hanging on Meathead and AC. One was a middle-aged woman with "spackle" [the guys' description, not mine] for makeup.

Alannis sure knows how to do dessert!

Around 3:45, the fuglies started leaving for the game. Spackle walked past Alannis and me, and pulled up her shirt to reveal a pink flask tucked between her jeans and her fat stomach...I almost hurled. Sweet jesus! I should have brought the Southern Comfort to numb the pain of seeing that gut! And in addition to the spackle, she had some 1984 blue eyeliner, and her niece, whom she kept trying to shove on AC and Meathead, had some frosted pink lipstick from 1986, too. Typical SoCal wetty trash...

Once inside, we quickly realized it wasn't a sold-out game and therefore, we could sit in a lower section, closer to the action [or lack thereof]. We sat in the student section, and moved when Meathead and AC saw some candidates for Krypto:

We ended up behind some trashy USC students, one of which was seriously hungover--a perfect candidate for our friend, Krypto.


The only highlight of the game for me, the lone Stanford fan in a sea of red and gold, was the band, which is banned [ha ha] from playing on the field:Yes, that's a keg he's drumming on. And this year, it's a palm tree out there...check out the band leader:


Needless to say, once the "High school football!" chants started, I was sitting about four seats down from everyone, shivering from the cold and the embarassment. Everyone was taunting me and trying to high-5 [I responded with my middle finger]. Final score: 42-0.

After the game, we returned to the car to nibble on leftovers and watch the UCLA-Cal game on the neighbor's flat screen. At least Cal won. Meathead was so elated from the SC win that he didn't realize he sat on the desserts...

Talk about a sweet end.

Shoes

First, a sad observation: twice this week, when I boarded the shuttle and took my usual seat, I looked out the window and saw the same homeless man. On his feet are big slipper-like shoes covered in duct tape. I wonder if he has shoes under there, or if he just put something around his feet [towels? clothes?] and wrapped them in tape until they were as big as clown shoes. It was even more sad when he opened his mouth and I noticed he had no front teeth. :(

Now, a catty observation: when I was heading to the train tonight, there was a girl walking in front of me whose legs/feet looked odd...when I caught up to her, I realized what it was and made this observation:

Girls with "cankles" shouldn't wear wedge heels. Especially with a skirt and no stockings.

Happy Halloween!

I hope you're all enjoying my favorite day of the year--I like it even better than my birthday!!!

Amusing Sight #2 [I'll post #1 another day]:
As I drove past an emergency room, I noticed they offer valet parking! For $8!! I can picture it now: "My @nus is bleeding!" "We'll get you some help. Meanwhile, would you like us to valet park your car for only $8?"

Why Go

Last weekend was my tenth reunion. Three of us had planned to travel down together. As the date got closer, Melissa and I realized we should have planned the trip with just the two of us...

See, we'd decided that even though The Pear would bring Dilbert, we'd all share a room to cut back on costs. Less than a week before the trip, The Pear informs us that they need to get a separate room. This doubles the cost of our room! I don't return her call because I am annoyed.

Turns out Dilbert's mom found out he'd be sharing a room with 3 girls, and she demanded that there be separate rooms. Did I mention Dilbert is four years older than us?

Highlights from the weekend:
FRIDAY: drive down in my car. make incessant jokes about The Pear's favorite store, bulls-eye. inform her that the only reason her family received holiday cards from the college is that they were major gift prospects. when she says that's doubtful, inform her that the office which sent the cards had a list of all students not on financial aid or scholarship. the look on her face is priceless. also find out that she doesn't know what a hummer is.

SATURDAY: wake up late. notice that Dilbert, The Pear, and Dilbert's 'rents are eating at the same place as us. quickly pay bill and get the hell out of dodge. later in the afternoon, receive request to call The Pear when we return to hotel room. when that's done, receive request to call The Pear before leaving. I insist that we'll knock instead. The Pear calls me a bitch and tells me again to call. I say again that I will knock, and hang up.

The Pear and Dilbert are running ten minutes late. However, she buys the first round for us to celebrate a small raise. She brings up the fact that she bought me a drink constantly the rest of the night. We head to mixer. It's disappointing. We head to afterparty. We run into several people that I've seen recently, but The Pear and the other person have not. I'm reconnecting with others that remember me [wow! so that's what it's like to be popular!]. sure enough, The Pear whispers, "Do you want to start saying goodbye to people so that we can leave? Dilbert's tired." From what? Dilbert didn't drive down! Dilbert slept in till 10-30! Dilbert took a nap before we left for a bar prior to the mixer!!! so i reluctantly start to say goodbye and we head out.

SUNDAY:
Melissa had told us she wanted to have breakfast with her brother while we were in town. We were all invited. She gave him the wrong directions, and by the time we sat down to order it was an hour later than planned. service was slow. so we left almost two hours later than i'd wanted. in addition, The Pear asked me, "would you be offended if i emailed you my address tomorrow so that you can send me your portion of the hotel bill?"

i told everyone, "we put the fan on, but we don't turn the a/c on unless the temperature hits 100." it hit 90 before we were too far out. so i started turning the a/c on for a few minutes every hour. sorry, but i'm a dedicated environmentalist. The Pear and Dilbert complain that their backs are sticking to their shirts. did i mention that they are sitting in the backseat, with highly tinted windows???

when we got to my place, my better half had a blank check ready [per my text request] so that i could settle my bill with The Pear and save a stamp. i told him what i did with the a/c, and he said that was horrible. so now i feel kinda bad. maybe that's why no one has emailed me since then...

ADDITIONS:
1. I forgot to mention that the reason dilbert's mom wanted separate rooms was this:
"What if he has to use the bathroom in the middle of the night?"

2. The Pear actually invited us to breakfast with Dilbert's parents like this:
"If you go with us, they will totally pay! You'd get a free meal out of it! We never pay when we go out with them!"