SIN WAGON

Last Friday, I accompanied Lolita and her rockin' mom to the Dixie Chicks concert. We took BART, which is always interesting--especially after monotonous rides on Caltrain. The first thing I noticed was the demographic attending the concert: lots of people over 60! and a good sprinkling of the LGBT community--holla!

When the lights finally went down and "Hail to the Chief" began to play, the three of us stood up, and stayed standing through the first song. An elderly man who'd left to get food came back to his seat, which was in front of us, and growled something at us about standing up! Lolita and I looked at each other in confusion--isn't this a concert? And aren't we behind him? To top it off, at the end of the song, the people behind Lolita [also elders] tapped her on the shoulder [as she was about to sit down] and asked her to sit down because she was blocking their view! I tried not to let it get to me, but I hate going to concerts where people won't let you enjoy freedom of expression when that expression is in the form of rocking out and dancing!

The show itself was more mellow than the last time I saw them, but I think they were still good. I still love Natalie--she's so spunky! They performed some oldies but goodies, and I was thrilled when they played "Cowboy Take Me Away" and "Sin Wagon." Towards the end, Lolita's mom was really enjoying herself and yelling "Whooo!" The guy in front of her looked at her funny, so she just "Whooo"-ed louder. Right on!!!

As we walked back to BART, I smiled at the sight of two gay men walking with their arms around each other. They had matching hats, black shirts, and black jeans with red fringe. Little did I know that the real party would be on BART! As we waited for our train, Lolita and I noticed a cute Clark Kent-lookalike. He was tall, thin and dark-haired, with dark-rimmed glasses and a button down shirt over a t-shirt and jeans. Very cute! Once we were on our train and noticed that he was on it too, four rather portly girls who were well-marinated got on. They decided that singing was the best way for them to ride home...so what at first sounded like little kids singing turned into full-blown drunken singing...a little "Sounds of Silence," a little U2, and others which we couldn't decipher. There was a European man who looked like he was going home from the airport sitting across from us, and my first thought was, "Oh no! He's probably thinking 'typical obnoxious americans!'" One man who was sitting about three rows up from them switched seats further up in the car, mumbling "I'm trying to sleep, man." They finally exited the train singing "Goodbye Earl." How appropriate...

Nice Guys Finish Last

This past Saturday, I attended Stanford's slaughter by SC. Granted, this shouldn't even count because Stanford hasn't won a game all year, and SC has barely won its games this year.

We tailgated with friends [no worries, I brought a Boca patty for myself with decent sides]. But I should have brought more alcohol.

There was an RV behind us that had a flat-screen outside and two more TVs inside. They had a sweet set-up, so Meathead quickly made friends to get some alcohol and watch TV.

There were a couple of decent-looking girls for our friend, Krypto, but he is waaaay too fearful of the 'gina. Meathead even got the perfect excuse for him to talk to one of the girls: she wanted some corn on the cob! AC sprang into action and threw another one on the grill so that Krypto could take it to her, with the little corn holders, too. Alas, he chickened out, and instead, Meathead took it over to her. Then the fugly girls started hanging on Meathead and AC. One was a middle-aged woman with "spackle" [the guys' description, not mine] for makeup.

Alannis sure knows how to do dessert!

Around 3:45, the fuglies started leaving for the game. Spackle walked past Alannis and me, and pulled up her shirt to reveal a pink flask tucked between her jeans and her fat stomach...I almost hurled. Sweet jesus! I should have brought the Southern Comfort to numb the pain of seeing that gut! And in addition to the spackle, she had some 1984 blue eyeliner, and her niece, whom she kept trying to shove on AC and Meathead, had some frosted pink lipstick from 1986, too. Typical SoCal wetty trash...

Once inside, we quickly realized it wasn't a sold-out game and therefore, we could sit in a lower section, closer to the action [or lack thereof]. We sat in the student section, and moved when Meathead and AC saw some candidates for Krypto:

We ended up behind some trashy USC students, one of which was seriously hungover--a perfect candidate for our friend, Krypto.


The only highlight of the game for me, the lone Stanford fan in a sea of red and gold, was the band, which is banned [ha ha] from playing on the field:Yes, that's a keg he's drumming on. And this year, it's a palm tree out there...check out the band leader:


Needless to say, once the "High school football!" chants started, I was sitting about four seats down from everyone, shivering from the cold and the embarassment. Everyone was taunting me and trying to high-5 [I responded with my middle finger]. Final score: 42-0.

After the game, we returned to the car to nibble on leftovers and watch the UCLA-Cal game on the neighbor's flat screen. At least Cal won. Meathead was so elated from the SC win that he didn't realize he sat on the desserts...

Talk about a sweet end.

Shoes

First, a sad observation: twice this week, when I boarded the shuttle and took my usual seat, I looked out the window and saw the same homeless man. On his feet are big slipper-like shoes covered in duct tape. I wonder if he has shoes under there, or if he just put something around his feet [towels? clothes?] and wrapped them in tape until they were as big as clown shoes. It was even more sad when he opened his mouth and I noticed he had no front teeth. :(

Now, a catty observation: when I was heading to the train tonight, there was a girl walking in front of me whose legs/feet looked odd...when I caught up to her, I realized what it was and made this observation:

Girls with "cankles" shouldn't wear wedge heels. Especially with a skirt and no stockings.