Friday, I was in the City by 8:30AM. Mom and I headed downtown to catch the Adidas sale, which ended at 9:30AM. Afterwards, we hit Nordstrom and Macy*s. [Note to white women: "bling bling" is SO outdated. You should be punched every time you utter those words. It's like nails on a chalkboard.]
After dropping my mom off around 1:30, I headed home, packed, got an oil change, and headed south at 3:07PM. AC had kindy gotten me a ticket to the ND-USC game via craigslist! A solo road trip is very interesting, mainly because you have to amuse yourself. I sang along to whatever I wanted to; saw cows that were colored like cop cars at 5:02PM; and found a radio station that called itself "one-oh-sexy-point-three." I tried to drive non-stop but had to heed nature's call at the foot of the Grapevine at 7:45PM, crossing the LA County line at 8:07PM. I stopped for gas a few minutes later and was shocked to find myself in 36 degree weather! I hopped back on the road, eager to finish the last stretch. Alas, I dropped my damn phone while I was listening to iTunes, so I had to pull over in Castaic. I finally made it to Pico Rivera [where AC's sister lives] at 9:23PM.
The next morning, we were up by 6AM and at USC by 8:30. We parked and headed to ESPN Gameday's booth.
We found Krypto and hung out with him and his friends till our other friends showed up. [Got that?] It was very awkward, because Krypto's friends were very cold towards us. AC had met them before, and they didn't even say hi. He tried to say hi and they acted like they didn't see him. He'd warned me that they had made some comment loudly to Krypto about AC and the other friends eating their food. At the beginning of the season, they even had a talk with Krypto and told him they found some of his behaviour unacceptable last season! Why he continues to hang out with them is beyond us.Anyway, I was really surprised by the tailgate areas at SC: basically, any open area that has a hint of grass is open!
People tailgated in front of Engineering buildings as well as on a grassy strip of sidewalk near the Museum of Natural History's parking lot! The upside to this is that you can usually use the building's bathroom. This is the building whose facilities we visited:
Nice, eh?Our other friends arrived, so we unloaded our car to tailgate with them, even though we had to cut through campus and cross the street. They had set up camp directly across the sidewalk from Notre Dame fans, so I was happy.
We'd heard that there was a Notre Dame tent set up with merchandise for sale, and luckily, the people who'd told us about it found us and led us to Irishfest. For $5, you gained a rally towel and access to an area primarily for ND fans, with a big tent o' merchandise, and beer & In-N-Out booths! Even the portapotties were blue:
Once we'd done some damage at the merch tent, we went back to our friends, who proudly showed me their purchase from the SC store. It was a red t-shirt with the Irish mascot, except his fists were the stupid two-fingered Victory sign and text that read, "If you can't beat us, join us!"
AC grilled some meat, which attracted the usual admiration and "that smells good!" [and, according to him, some little blonde SC fanwhore smiling and saying "Mmm, yummy!"]. Note how he's tenderly holding the 'tilla package:
I made myself a rum & coke, but should have eaten something first. The buzz hit me as soon as I stood up. That's when I noticed the ND cheerleaders and mascot had arrived, so I followed them back to Irishfest for the rally. I also got my face painted for a charitable donation to Hannah & Friends.
There were tons of creative signs and shirts, many referencing SC's felon alumnus [OJ Simpson]. One t-shirt read, "Catholics have no need for Trojans." And far too many heavy girls wore tight t-shirts that read "Got Booty?" [The SC quarterback is John David Booty.]
Finally, at 4:40PM, we got ready to enter the Coliseum. AC made sure that I sat with our friends so that I wouldn't be harassed too badly.
I quickly learned that SC fans are WORSE than my fellow Raider fans. That made it even harder for me to contain myself.As we entered our row, people started booing me, and one guy actually pushed me [though not too hard]. Someone yelled, "Rudy was a Hollywood myth! He never existed!" Luckily, shortly after we sat down, attention was focused on a drunk girl who puked in the row in front of us. She was led out by her friend, but the people entering the same row were unaware they were stepping in puke...
There were a few other ND fans around us, and knowing that my mouth can get me in trouble, I lay low. Unfortunately, there was one guy who didn't know when to shut up. For starters, he was wearing a Celtics Larry Bird jersey. He was scrawny and wore glasses. I don't know what he was yelling, but the SC fans behind me kept saying "Shut up Larry Bird!" For whatever reason, he lifted the jersey to reveal a New England Patriots t-shirt, to which people started yelling, "Oh, a big sports fan! What a doofus! Siddown, four eyes!" And then he was called faggot several times, which really pissed me off, but I didn't say anything. I focused on being friendly to the fat, old, SC wetty fans next to me. They were telling me to "convert now!" to save my soul before kick-off. I'll spare you the gory details of the game, but the older white guy in front of me tried to high-5 me when SC scored and I flipped him off. Later, he said something else about Jesus [I am thinking it was in reference to Touchdown Jesus], to which I angrily said, "There is no Jesus." By halftime, things weren't looking good, and my friend asked why I made the bet with AC [details at the end of post]. I said, "To prove my faith in the Irish!" He said, "For faith I go to church!" To which I retorted, "There's no god!" Man, it's a miracle that lightning didn't strike me down at that game.
I took a photo of this little Domer at the concession stand during halftime:
I yelled profane word after profane word at the top of my lungs as the Irish let me down. By the end of the game, when the score was 44-24, the white guy in front of me again said something else. I was seething at this point, so as my friend leaned down to hug me in sympathy, I glared at the guy and said, "Fuck you, whitey." My friend hugged me tighter and whispered, "Be nice, now, be nice!"
After the game, I clung to my friend's wife so that I wouldn't get lost in the crowd [and torn apart by SC fans]. We returned to their car, where her husband thought it would be funny to hold the aforementioned "If you can't beat us..." shirt in front of me for a picture. I grabbed the shirt, and as he and AC tried to hold it in front of me, I clawed at them, scratched the back of AC's neck, and bit my friend [even breaking skin!]. There was NO WAY I'd get that thing near me.
That night, AC passed out, and I rubbed my ND facepaint onto his cheeks:
Needless to say, the drive home was a long one, especially when AC proudly pointed me out at Starbucks to another SC fan--he and two other guys looked at me while he said "Yep, she's a little disappointed today." As one of them walked past our car, smiling, I flipped off him and his saggy-boobed wife.
So the bet was this: if SC won, I'd eat meat whenever we go out for the next year. If ND won, then AC would eat no meat whenever we went out for the next year. I took the bet in stride, and ordered chicken at our Burger King pit stop.
I think AC feels bad, because he's been modifying the bet by saying that it's only when we have planned dinner outings, like dates, not on occasions where we are so hungry after work that we eat out instead of at home. But I'm not taking any chances. Crazy, maybe, but a die-hard Irish fan I am.
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