Why Go

Last weekend was my tenth reunion. Three of us had planned to travel down together. As the date got closer, Melissa and I realized we should have planned the trip with just the two of us...

See, we'd decided that even though The Pear would bring Dilbert, we'd all share a room to cut back on costs. Less than a week before the trip, The Pear informs us that they need to get a separate room. This doubles the cost of our room! I don't return her call because I am annoyed.

Turns out Dilbert's mom found out he'd be sharing a room with 3 girls, and she demanded that there be separate rooms. Did I mention Dilbert is four years older than us?

Highlights from the weekend:
FRIDAY: drive down in my car. make incessant jokes about The Pear's favorite store, bulls-eye. inform her that the only reason her family received holiday cards from the college is that they were major gift prospects. when she says that's doubtful, inform her that the office which sent the cards had a list of all students not on financial aid or scholarship. the look on her face is priceless. also find out that she doesn't know what a hummer is.

SATURDAY: wake up late. notice that Dilbert, The Pear, and Dilbert's 'rents are eating at the same place as us. quickly pay bill and get the hell out of dodge. later in the afternoon, receive request to call The Pear when we return to hotel room. when that's done, receive request to call The Pear before leaving. I insist that we'll knock instead. The Pear calls me a bitch and tells me again to call. I say again that I will knock, and hang up.

The Pear and Dilbert are running ten minutes late. However, she buys the first round for us to celebrate a small raise. She brings up the fact that she bought me a drink constantly the rest of the night. We head to mixer. It's disappointing. We head to afterparty. We run into several people that I've seen recently, but The Pear and the other person have not. I'm reconnecting with others that remember me [wow! so that's what it's like to be popular!]. sure enough, The Pear whispers, "Do you want to start saying goodbye to people so that we can leave? Dilbert's tired." From what? Dilbert didn't drive down! Dilbert slept in till 10-30! Dilbert took a nap before we left for a bar prior to the mixer!!! so i reluctantly start to say goodbye and we head out.

SUNDAY:
Melissa had told us she wanted to have breakfast with her brother while we were in town. We were all invited. She gave him the wrong directions, and by the time we sat down to order it was an hour later than planned. service was slow. so we left almost two hours later than i'd wanted. in addition, The Pear asked me, "would you be offended if i emailed you my address tomorrow so that you can send me your portion of the hotel bill?"

i told everyone, "we put the fan on, but we don't turn the a/c on unless the temperature hits 100." it hit 90 before we were too far out. so i started turning the a/c on for a few minutes every hour. sorry, but i'm a dedicated environmentalist. The Pear and Dilbert complain that their backs are sticking to their shirts. did i mention that they are sitting in the backseat, with highly tinted windows???

when we got to my place, my better half had a blank check ready [per my text request] so that i could settle my bill with The Pear and save a stamp. i told him what i did with the a/c, and he said that was horrible. so now i feel kinda bad. maybe that's why no one has emailed me since then...

ADDITIONS:
1. I forgot to mention that the reason dilbert's mom wanted separate rooms was this:
"What if he has to use the bathroom in the middle of the night?"

2. The Pear actually invited us to breakfast with Dilbert's parents like this:
"If you go with us, they will totally pay! You'd get a free meal out of it! We never pay when we go out with them!"