Homecoming

Well!  It’s been a hot minute since I’ve been home for vacation.  The last time I came home was to help my mom move [details here].  She’s still temporarily living in El Salvador (the murder capital of the world, people!!), though my stepdad can’t get residency there, so they have to leave the country every 90 days [LONG STORY].  They are now here until late October.  Oh, the drama surrounding this visit!! I was to call my mom with the dates that they had flown in last year, and instead, she leaves me a voicemail on a Tuesday saying, “We are flying in Saturday night!”  So I had to book a hotel for her for a week while we scrambled to get the guest room ready for them (Artie had taken it over as her bedroom) and tidy up in general—no small task when school is still in session and Art and I commute ~1 hour each way.  We didn’t tell the girls they were here until I picked them up from the hotel a week later!  And yes, that means I ramped up my Zoloft from 1.5 pills to 2, in case you were wondering…

ANYWHO….I had warned her we had planned a vacation to California in late July, so lucky for her, the person who manages our rental agreed to let us get a house sitter (my mom) for the cats while we are gone. 

We fly in to LAX at 2am this Saturday.  Then I’ll fly in to SFO on the morning of the 23rd so that I can visit my friend who is battling a brain tumor.  [Anyone got a couch I can crash for that night?] On the 24^th, Art will fly in with the girls and we will stay at my dad’s friend’s house in HMB.  We would really like to see as many of you as we can, though we realize it is short notice!! The 24^th my dad’s Russian bride [HA!] is cooking dinner for us, but the rest of that week is currently open.  We fly out at 9pm on the 27th from SFO to JFK.

We really hope to see at least a few of you!!

Still Breathing

It's been a while, folks. If I don't post now, I may not post til the girls are in high school.

In January, I started high blood pressure medication.  Yay genetics.  It's so high, that it's dangerous if untreated, especially with the history of heart problems on my dad's side of the family.

In February, I flew home for a few days to help my mom finalize her move -- as some of you know, after 40 years, the new greedy owners of her building bought her out.  She put up a good legal fight--two years--but she eventually ran out of steam and decided to take the pay out.  Unfortunately, my stepdad is so disliked by the family, no one stepped up to take them in, and thus, they're in El Salvador while they wait their turn on one of two waiting lists.  (We would have taken them in, but our lease is very strict.)

In March, I found out that one of my very good friends has a softball-sized tumor on his brain.  The surgery was unable to remove it all, and he suffered some facial paralysis as a result.  He's just finished his second round of chemo.  We met when I worked at SFSU --he'd been there since the late 80s (he's in his late 50s), I think, but we instantly clicked.  He has a fabulous sense of humor, and we even met up in Provincetown when I first went.  We are both fans of the Kennedy family and Madonna.  He's such a generous, giving person, that it was such a blow when I found out.  He's hanging in there; we text or email from time to time (he had just gotten an iPhone when he went into the hospital!), and he still makes me laugh, despite his situation.

So thanks to that and to all the other stuff going on -- work stress, homework stress, getting-used-to-a-new-place-still stress, I'm now on my third mental health medication.  Generic Paxil, which I started shortly after Art started the new job, made me gain A LOT of weight--even more than I had ever gained when I was pregnant.  So I switched to Wellbutrin.  BIG MISTAKE.  After a week, I had been experiencing headaches and mental fogginess, not to mention some SERIOUS crankiness.  Now I'm on Zoloft, and I actually feel chipper.  Not 100% better, but definitely tolerable.  I haven't lost any weight yet, or at least not that I can tell, but I'm hoping the warmer weather will help me do so.  The worst part of this--officially classified as anxiety and moderate depression--was not caring that I was going to be late to drop off the girls.  It got to the point where for 1-2 weeks, Artie was 30-45min late to school every day.  I couldn't get out of bed when the alarm went off, and at night, I found solace in watching the news and then "@midnight with Chris Hardwick", because I needed something to make me laugh.  Throw in the 45-60min commute in to Greenburgh, NY, where their schools are, and it made me feel even worse about myself. And so the cycle continued.

That's it in a nutshell.  The girls are attending summer camp at the Y in Danbury, which is 5-10 min from our house, and since they've been taking different lessons there this spring, they know a few of the counselors and kids now.  Plus, NO HOMEWORK.  So Art and I are carpooling together in the Prius, listening to "Pod Save America" and catching each other up on the insanity of the current administration.

Thanks for reading.

From The Farm to The Yard to the pharm

I cannot believe it’s been 5.5 months since our move to Connecticut, and since I began this job.  To make this easier to digest, this update will be in 2 separate posts: Residence/Job and Schools.

•    The new residence

We were lucky enough to find a condo (really, it’s a house) in a very friendly community in Danbury, Connecticut, only 10 min from the NY border.  The one thing that has taken getting used to is that Danbury feels like a small town, yet we have a Starbucks, Home Depot, and Michaels/TJ Maxx/CVS/Walgreens/Bed Bath Beyond/Costco/Five Guys literally 5 minutes down the street.  Go down the other way, and you have an AMC within 5 minutes too, along with Lowes, Best Buy, and Applebees.   I couldn’t figure out why I still felt lost, til I realized that Connecticut has no major sports teams—save for UConn or Yale.  So you’re either a fan of one of the New York teams, or the Boston teams. The girls and I miss Boston dearly--who would've thunk that it would grow on me--and so I still read its news online.  Sometimes, Vivi starts bawling that she misses Boston, and Artie will cringe and say, "aw, there goes a Massachusetts license plate..."

•  The new job

As you may recall, if you saw my last post, I was hired at temp status, with the goal of making me permanent by January (has not yet happened).  I work with two groups at Art's company, Nerve Growth Factor and Respiratory syncytial (sin-SISH-uhl) virus.  Additionally, I send out the calendar invites for Protocol Review Committee meetings, which is trickier because there are certain people that have to get invited, depending on the molecule being discussed (uh, what?).  Though the work is all admin--scheduling meetings, processing invoices, ordering office supplies and lunch as needed for meetings--it is literally like learning a new language.  It's even harder when scientists are very socially awkward; I literally sat in a meeting 5 minutes after it ended because the folks I was meeting with never thought to say "hey, since we finished early, my colleague and I will quickly discuss xyz in here" or anything to that effect--they just stared at me and smiled! The hardest part is realizing that what you do has to comply with FDA rules, and that the timelines are very fast due to time sensitivity of studies. I can't complain about the culture--for the most part, it's laid back and no micro-managing.  But I would go back to higher ed in a heartbeat.  I really miss being in the thick of international relations, especially in today's world....

The Final Countdown

At last, an update:

As planned, I left Harvard on May 27, the day after Commencement, so that I could focus on packing up the house (in addition to saving money on before/afterschool for Artie and daycare for Vivi.)  Our house went on the market in early May, but we didn't get an acceptable offer, just over our asking price, until June 24 (one offer was less than what we originally paid!).  Then the rush was on to find a place to live, but first we had to see where I would land a job.

Art finally got my resume into the right hands after someone left, so I interviewed with his company in mid-June.  In late July, I was finally offered a position as an admin assistant in the Clinical Development & Regulatory Affairs division.  However, since the department apparently has met its hiring quota for the year, they can only offer me a temp position through December--but assuming all goes well, I'd get a signing bonus upon becoming permanent in January.  (Art wonders if they used that as an excuse to avoid giving me relocation benefits, since his own were extended an extra 3 months past his original deadline.  But whatever--I think it gives me a chance to see if I like it, and if I don't, I can look at what is out there in higher ed.)

As for housing, timing was too tight to search for and close on a house; we will be renting a condo in Danbury, CT.  It's about 45 min from Regeneron with traffic.  The girls and I have not seen it yet, because after seeing 4 properties, our first choice was taken by the time we tried to submit an application, and the second was rejected (they didn't understand we were in the process of selling our house--GRRR).  So Art saw a couple of properties after work one day, and liked this one.  (Fireplace, 2-car garage under the house, community playground and pool--I'll take it!)

And why do things the easy way? We get the keys AND I start my new job this coming Monday, the 15th.

It's been a rough 14 months, and I'm ready for this move to just be over with.  My anxiety levels are through the roof, especially since the girls fight more than they play together, and Vivi has severe separation anxiety--she shadows my every move and wants to "help" with everything.  So now it's crunch time; today Art stuffed the Corolla with boxes and I followed behind with the girls, Little Susie the guinea pig, and her cage.  After setting up Susie's cage in Art's current apartment, we had dinner, and then the girls and I drove back to Boston.  Whew!  See you on the other side...

A Long-Overdue Update

"Whatever happened to the Contreras's move to New York?" you might be asking.  Well.  The obstacles have been nothing short of a novel, so I'll try to summarize with bullet points:

• I was lucky enough to land interviews with two places.  One of them was a perfect fit, though the position was rather entry-level; after a great interview and the beginning of reference checks, I found out the salary was 50% of my current one. The other position was put on hold after I went through FOUR interviews (one of those via Skype).  After that happened, the academic year had kicked in and I had no energy to start all over again.
• We tried to buy a house, but our offer was declined because we still own the Boston one.  So we tried to rent an apartment, but since my salary is currently paid in Massachusetts, they would only consider Art's salary, which did not qualify for the monthly rent.
• Once we were turned down for the apartment, it was the beginning of the school year for Artie, so at the last minute (since we had withdrawn her from private school) I had to apply for a spot in Boston Public Schools.  As luck would have it, she got into one of the most sought-after elementary schools in a fantastic neighborhood near our house.  She loves it; her teachers say that she fits in so well, it's as if she has been there since pre-K.  
• Art was connected to someone at work who needed a roommate, so together they share a 2BR apartment about 10 min from Art's work.  Between the executive housing that ended in August and November 1, he had been AirBnB-ing.
• Meanwhile, work has been insanely crazy: the Dean stepped down after 11 years in June, so after that, I was assisting the Acting Dean and Incoming Dean, in addition to the Chief of Staff. In August, I was the last woman standing with the Chief of Staff (one colleague went to another department, and the other moved to Atlanta).  Luckily we gained a replacement for one of the former staff in late September, who has worked out phenomenally.  I really can't thank the Chief of Staff enough for being so understanding with having to shift my schedule for drop-off/pick-up with the girls, since I'm single-parenting during the week.  After giving it some thought, I asked for a pay increase for all the extra work I've been doing in exchange for agreeing to stay through Commencement (May 27). Luckily, that's been agreed upon.  
• Art continues to enjoy his new job--they were just named in the Top 100 Places to Work.  He recently went 2 weeks without having to bring lunch: he was told that if a room looks like a meeting has ended, and there is leftover food, then it's up for grabs. He joined the bowling league (free beer and food) and the softball team.

Needless to say, it's been a stressful time.  So stressful, that when we went to Florida for a week-long vacation in mid-February, I spent a day and a half in bed with a bad headache.  The Monday I went back to work, I went to the clinic to get it checked out.  My blood pressure turned out to be dangerously high, so they called a cab and had me taken to the ER, where I spent 6 hours resting with an IV to treat a combination migraine-tension headache.  Yay me.  Art had to drive back from NY to pick up the girls, who were understandably scared to meet mom in a hospital room on a gurney :(  

I'm feeling much better, and have slowed down since that incident.  I think we might end up renting the Boston house.  Family friends mentioned that co-workers are moving out of the city due to excessive rents, but that makes commuting a nightmare, so perhaps we can get one or two of them to rent the house.  We'll likely be in NY come hell or high water by July 1.  Stay tuned!

On the road again...

Well, it's official.  Big Artie has a new job, but sadly, it is not in California.  He has been pursued since the fall by a company called Regeneron Pharmaceuticals in New York.  After flying out to interview with Stanford Medical School (on his own dime, with less than a week's notice), he was asked to go to Tarrytown, NY for an interview with Regeneron (they reimbursed lodging and mileage).  Despite following up, he never heard back from Stanford (nor was he reimbursed--which he knew when they asked him to interview--those bastards).  Meanwhile, Regeneron is a good fit for what he wants to do; at the moment, he's frustrated with the lack of challenges and resistance to change/modernize at his current job at Beth Israel.  Plus, his boss is rarely in anymore--he had back surgery last summer due to an old injury sustained from a kick by an elephant he used to train.  Not only was that surgery not needed, as it turns out, he also sustained damage to his neck, so now, he has seizures caused by activities such as driving (not good when he lives one state over!).  So it is very likely he won't be with the hospital much longer.  He was genuinely happy for big Artie when they spoke today.

Because Regeneron wants Art to start on June 1, I will stay in Boston with the girls until at least July 1, since Artie's last day of school is June 19.  I am also hoping I have a job by July 1, as we really can't afford to pay for mortgage and a room/apartment for Art, even if Regeneron is picking up the tab for the move (they have contracted a company that assists with relocations).

Needless to say, I was not happy when he got the job-- sorry, I know that's very selfish. I am not looking forward to moving 3 hours south where we will not only have to start all over, but where the weather will still suck come winter.  Little Artie is happy to move (for some reason she LOVES New York, probably because "Madagascar" made her aware of it, even though that is technically NYC!) but her school is so fucking amazing that I was willing to stick it out til at least 5th grade here.  And despite the fact that my own job is not really guaranteed after the new dean is announced (what if the new dean wants to bring in his/her own staff??), I was hoping to transfer into HKS's Alumni Relations & Resource Development office, especially since I now know the head honchos in that department and the Director of Engagement (who runs all the stewardship and events, which is where I'd like to end up).  My only two consolations at the moment are 1) it's one village over from Sleepy Hollow (yay Halloween) and 2) our neighbor's mom lives in Tarrytown, so she's offered to stay in touch so that her girls can still play with ours when they visit Grandma (which is quite often).

So that's the news and now you know.  Haven't told my dad yet, so I won't post this news on Facebook yet since he's on there and so are my cousins on that side of the family.

How's It Going To Be

Well, that was fast.

After much deliberation, I took big A's advice and applied to an Exec Asst position at the Harvard Kennedy School of Government.  As in, assistant to the Dean.  I really don't want to stay in this line of work.  I am very anxious to return to the donor stewardship/alumni relations world.  But, as luck would have it, the timeline went like this:

Submitted resume late Sunday night, 6/28.

Got a call Tuesday, 6/30 from HR, asking if we (HR rep and me) could schedule a face-to-face meeting for that week.

The following week met with the three other staff in the dean's office.

The week after that, met with the dean.

I was offered the position last Thursday, which I've accepted!

I am very curious how this will pan out, mainly because of my most recent experience. The dean seems very very low-tech; he admitted to rarely using his work-issued cell phone, and to carrying an index card in his pocket with the day's meetings (!).  I asked whether I'd be expected to check/return emails after business hours, and was told absolutely not!  I'm so used to checking my current work email from the moment I wake up until I go to bed, that this will feel very weird.  Imagine all the books/magazines I'll be able to read!

Logistically, we have yet to figure out some things (most importantly, DAYCARE for V), but let's hope it works.

And no, this in no way means we are putting roots down here.  I just needed a job because my contract was ending (see previous post)!